


city of broken hearts

by fabulousfairytales



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 07:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17638409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulousfairytales/pseuds/fabulousfairytales
Summary: Two years after leaving Seattle, Levi returns and finds himself in Nico's arms.





	city of broken hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So uhm yeah. I was listening to [these ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zBIkzfKfuY) [two ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5m4pUJ9_qc)things when inspiration hit me.  
> I'm kinda sorry, but only kinda.

“Why didn't you let me talk to you?” Nico asked quietly after catching his breath. Levi closed his eyes for a moment and rolled onto his side, pressing his elbow into the mattress to prop up his arm and lean his head against his hand.

“Just hearing your voice, I would've changed my mind.” Levi’s voice was small. He avoided looking into his eyes. His eyes have always been the things that got him. They were beautiful. Dark and warm. Levi used to be able to look into them for hours. Instead, he reached and grabbed Nico’s hand, lightly intertwining their fingers.

“You could've called after you arrived. I had to hear it from Taryn.” Nico wasn’t angry when he heard about Levi leaving. He felt empty. Empty, because he just left without telling him. All he had left him was a letter. With his thumb, he brushed over the back of Levi’s hand.

“Don't you think I wanted to talk to you? To hear your voice?” He frowned and finally looked up into Nico’s eyes. “You think it was easy for me without you?”

“Well it must've been since you just up and left,” Nico snapped.

Levi huffed and pulled away his hand, sitting up and crossing his arms in front of his naked chest.

“What did you want me to do? To stay here, without a job? Being a real-life Seattle housewife? Living off your money, sitting at home while my friends are living their lives, becoming the surgeons they always wanted to be? This fellowship was everything. You know that. I just got fired. I had no job. And yet they still wanted me.”

Nico looked up at the ceiling before focusing back on Levi. He sat up and ran his hands over Levi’s arms, untangling them and taking his hands between his own.

“Nico, I loved you.” He freed one of his hands and caressed Nico’s cheek.

“Loved?” He didn’t like the sound of that word in its past tense. Levi’s hand on his cheek started to hurt his heart.

“Yes, I loved you so much.”

“ _Loved_.” Still past tense.

“I still do.” Better. ”But I had no job and your dream job was here. What was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to talk to me about it.” He removed Levi’s hand from his cheek.

“But we did! Over and over again. We've been talking and fighting and crying about it for weeks. We were running in circles. And I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to leave.”

“Sure.” He looked away.

“Don't.”

“What.”

“If I had stayed, I would've hated you. And I didn't want that. I didn't want to hate you because I stayed for you. That’s why I left. So don't insinuate that it was a selfish decision and that I didn’t care about you.”

“I'm not insinuating anything right now.”

“Are you not?”

“No. I'm not. I get it.”

“But?”

“But it hurt, Levi. It really hurt and fucked me up.”

Levi looked down at their hands. ”I'm sorry.“

“I know.“ Nico squeezed Levi’s hands gently before laying down on his back again, pulling Levi with him. He wrapped one arm tightly around Nico’s torso and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest, before laying his head on it. He closed his eyes and listened to Nico’s steady heartbeat.

“Did you meet someone?” Levi asked after a while.

“It’s only been two years,” Nico tried to evade.

“I met someone.” Ouch. “But they weren’t you.” Nico couldn’t help but to exhale a breath of relief.

“How is this so easy for you?” Levi sighed. Nico immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not.”

 “Good.”

“Is there really no way we can make this work?” Nico whispered, his hands lightly running over Levi’s neck and shoulder.

“We only hurt each other.”

“We used to be happy. Before you left.”

“Yeah we were.” Levi was drawing little hearts on Nico’s chest with his finger.

“Don’t you think we could be happy again?”

“I don’t know. Can you forgive me for leaving?”

“Do you regret it?”

There was a small pause. Levi propped himself up a little on Nico’s chest, looking into his tired eyes. “No.”

“Hm.” Nico looked away and took a deep breath before turning back around. “Yeah I can.”

“You sure? Don’t say it if you don’t mean it just ‘cause you miss me.”

“I forgave you last year on your birthday.”

“That’s specific. Why?”

“I was about to fly to New York to visit you.” Levi’s eyes grew, and he furrowed his brow in surprise.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid. That you moved on. That you were happy without me.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, I wanted you to be happy. Still want that. But I couldn’t watch it. Not yet.”

“I was about to come back too, you know? I mean before now. But Dr. Robbins was right. If I had come here earlier, I might not have returned to New York. And then everything would’ve been in vain.”

Nico pushed Levi gently off his chest to sit up straight, leaning his back against the headboard before pulling him closer again. Levi straddled him in his lap and leaned his forehead against Nico’s while his hands rested on Nico’s chest.

“Why are you here?” Nico placed his hands on the small of Levi’s back.

“I want to say I don’t know, but we both know that’s not true.” Levi ran his hand through Nico’s hair. It was still so soft. He had missed the feel of Nico’s hair.

“Please. Say it.”

“Nico I can’t –“ _His smell._

“Why not?”

“Because if I admit it then it’s real.” _His voice._

“It is already real.”

“Not if I –“ _His touch._

“You love me.”

 _Shit_. “Nico –“

“You love me.”

“I can’t –“ He whispered and pulled away, looking at the window.

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

Nico huffed out a cold laugh. “Liar.”

He turned his head back to look at Nico’s eyes. “Okay, I do. You know I do. We just had this conversation.”

“Admit it.”

“No.” He let go of Nico’s hair.

“Why?” He missed the feeling of Levi’s hands in his hair.

“I –“

“You’re afraid.”

“Nico –“

“Just say it.”

“Why? Why are you so obsessed with me saying it?”

“Because it’s the only thing standing between us, Levi!”

Levi leaned down and kissed him hard. He tried to enter Nico’s mouth with his tongue, but Nico stopped him, pushing him gently away.

“You can’t just stop me from talking like that.”

“Well, I just did. Didn’t I?”

“Levi –“

He sighed. “I know. I know. Sorry.” He leaned down and buried his face into Nico’s neck, pressing a soft kiss against it before wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I’m here because of you,” Levi whispered, his lower lip slightly quivering. “But I’m afraid. I’m afraid of getting hurt again. Of hurting you. I love you too much. I can’t screw this up again.” He let go of Nico’s waist and placed his hands on Nico’s shoulders while sitting up again, looking at the man in front of him.

“Baby –”

“No.” He shook his head.

“Baby.”

Levi felt a tear roll down his cheek and sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“You think we can make it this time? You think we can get our happily ever after this time?”

“I hope so. Yea.”

“You hope?”

“I can’t see the future yet,” Nico countered with a soft smile and wiped away Levi’s tears.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I can’t tell you either.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Nico whispered as he ran his thumb over Levi’s cheek.

“No.”

“I will wait for you.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell you what to do either.”

They both were staring into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours until Nico let his hand glide down Levi’s cheek over his neck to his shoulder.

“Let’s go to sleep,” he suggested, and Levi just nodded. He climbed off Nico’s lap and turned around before lying down and closing his eyes firmly. He felt Nico wrapping his arm around him, getting closer until he could feel the other man’s body pressed against his’.

Nico let his hand rest on Levi’s stomach. That’s when he felt Levi’s body shake. He pressed gentle kisses into Levi’s neck and ran his hand over Levi’s chest.

“I’m here baby,” he whispered as he heard the soft sobs leave Levi’s mouth.

“I’m here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Leving comments is much appreciated even if it's only for you to tell me if you cried or not haha.  
> If you got a prompt or just wanna talk I'm [orthoglasses](http://orthoglasses.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!  
> 


End file.
